Me: (tries to visit a local restaurant’s website via iPhone)
Restaurant website: I require Flash. Fuck off.
Me: I just want to know how late you’re open.
Website: Nope.
Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t you have a little “HTML Version” link up in the corner or something?
Website: I’m ignoring you.
Me: What if I’m on my phone because I’m out, looking for a place to eat? Didn’t that ever occur to you?
Website: Fuck entirely off.
Me: (gives up, switches to computer)
Website: Oh! Hi! What can I help you with today?
Me: What are your —
Website: Hang on, I’m loading the music.
Me: Really.
Website: You’ll love it. It’s “Girl from Ipanema” arranged for steel drum and keytar.
Me: No, you don’t have to —
Website: Loading…
Me: All I want is —
Website: I SAID DOT DOT DOT.
Me: (drums fingers on desk)
Website: There we go. Isn’t that nice? It’s… what’s the word. Ethnicky.
Me: What are your hours?
Website: Take a look at our menu! It’s a PDF of a screenshot of a scan of a Word document printed on a dishtowel. With fonts!
Me: I don’t care. What are your hours?
Website: Don’t worry, the menu loads in a new window so the music won’t stop. Can I show you some broken images?
Me: What. Are. Your. Hou. Rs.
Website: I… I don’t know.
Me: (goes to Denny’s)
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You *need* to go look at this Canadian lady’s webcomic. Clicking on the image takes you through.
1. She’s a b3tard.
2. She makes jokes about teenage magazines.
3. She has a cricket bat for zombies.
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(via vanityxo)
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This is why @badjournalism is my most recent favourite Twitter stream.
Aw, Grauniad. I love you so.
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ridethecollapsingwavefunction:
My day is now complete.
oh
my
god
This is getting reblogged mainly so I have a record of it.
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“Only DJs in this area.”
I had to screencap this questionnaire ‘cause it made my night.
Hehe.
Kudos for correcting the apostrophe usage, btw.
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By sooperdave
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Forget about garden gnomes. I want a zombie in my garden!
yes!
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(via whomcwhat)
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molls...she wrote: idea
Have you ever been telling someone about some stupid essay or internet comment you read and they’ve said something to you like, “Man, some people shouldn’t even be allowed to use the Internet.”
I disagree with that. Stupid people should be extra allowed to use the Internet because they really…
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A conversation I have every month or so
